Celebrities say The Darndest Things

 Zooey Deschanel on otters:

'We just really loved the name Elsie and we both love otters,' she said on The Today Show.

And she explained that the semi-aquatic animals had always been her favourite.

'They are very sweet and they are also smart,' she said. 'They use tools, they keep their favourite tools. They hold hands while they sleep.

'There are so many amazing things about otters. Who doesn't love otters.'

And Zooey joked of baby Elsie: 'I love otters, she better love otters. We don't know yet because she's only a few months old. But she's going to.'

Aw.

Except.

Otters are deranged.

"...A weaned harbor seal pup was resting onshore when an untagged male sea otter approached it, grasped it with its teeth and forepaws, bit it on the nose, and flipped it over. The harbor seal moved toward the water with the sea otter following closely. Once in the water, the sea otter gripped the harbor seal’s head with its forepaws and repeatedly bit it on the nose, causing a deep laceration. The sea otter and pup rolled violently in the water for approximately 15 min, while the pup struggled to free itself from the sea otter’s grasp. Finally, the sea otter positioned itself dorsal to the pup’s smaller body while grasping it by the head and holding it underwater in a position typical of mating sea otters. As the sea otter thrust his pelvis, his penis was extruded and intromission was observed. At 105 min into the encounter, the sea otter released the pup, now dead, and began grooming."

Basically they fuck and rape you to death. 

It always helps to, you know, research things in life.

It may stop you from regretting some decisions.